It's not a secret to anyone who knows me that I'm in an interracial relationship, and I have been for almost 3 years now. The relationship in itself has caused some minor problems and tensions between me and other people that don't seem to agree with our decision since my boyfriend is white and I'm black. Petty? Yes. Stupid? Even more so. But I've moved past that and let their problems be just that. Their problems.
But since I've been natural another annoying problem has popped up between certain people and I. And this problem usually starts off with THE QUESTION.
THE QUESTION usually is something along the lines of "How does your boyfriend feel about your hair?"
Seemingly innocent, this loaded question irks me like no other. Why? Because it's a double edged sword. There is no right answer for these people.
If I say 'No, it's not his favorite', then the response is something like: "Huh. I wouldn't expect him to understand our hair anyway."
And if I say 'Yes' (which is the real answer since he loves my natural hair), then the immediate response is about how he has some kind of slave/slave master complex. And somehow by approving of my natural hair he wants to keep me (and I quote!) "lookin' like a slave" so he can feel dominant over me.
This kind of statement is offensive to me on all levels. First of all you're attacking someone I care about and who has done nothing wrong other than actually appreciate the difference between African and European hair. He does not have some kind of slave master complex and its weird and disgusting for anyone to even suggest that that is the reason he is interested in me. As if a white man couldn't possibly be interested in a black woman if she didn't have straight hair or weave. Really?
The hidden layer of attack in such a statement is that the person is saying that natural hair and slave hair are the same. I do not agree. Slaves did not have the proper products, tools, or knowledge of techniques to keep their hair looking as good as I do. Yes, they still did braids and such, but the fact that some people still believe natural hair and slave hair are one in the same is offensive to all of us who have worked so hard to keep our hair looking decent despite the stigmas. And it also is very telling of how some black people view the hair that God blessed them with. It is not slavish, nappy, dreadful, or 'bad' hair. It is beautiful, unique, and fierce.
Anyway, that's my rant of the day. All I have to say is that while some people continue to scoff at interracial relationships and natural hair alike, they are both a huge part of me and I wouldn't change a thing.
In the wise words of Willow Smith. I just gotta turn my back, whip my hair, and just shake em off . :)
Stay Beautiful Curlies!
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